A day in the life of Adam Chew

Adam Chew is something else.

He was supposed to pick us up at the hotel in Malaysia at two o'clock,
but he didn't show till 2:30. He tried to convince us that he was on
time, but the paper he brought with him clearly said 2:00. Ok--it
happens.

We get in the car and he asks us where we want to go. Usually not a
great sign when he's supposed to be our guide for the day, a day full
of pre-planned activities. We mention a few we remembered, and he says
sure! And takes us to a buddhist temple (see Reclining Buddha post).
On the way we pepper him with questions:

how tall is the hill in the middle of the island?
--He doesn't know.

Closer to 500 meters or 1000?
--Maybe 1000.

When did the British leave malaysia?
--No, the British weren't here, the arabs were. (note: the British
controlled Malaysia through the mid 50's. Still not sure about the year)

Huh.

Are you from here?
--Yes, but I live in Australia now. I like Australia much better than
Malaysia

Why Australia?
--I'm a fruit picker there. You know, peaches, etc. My wife lives there.

Huh.

So, are you going to take us around to the various sights?
--I'm not a guide, just a driver

Huh.

Highlights of the next seven hours include Adam getting a free facial
in an Indian salon; Adam telling his girlfriend in Penang (note the
wife in Australia) that he couldn't meet up with her, her calling to
complain and him repeating "I not change, I am Adam. Adam not change";
buying mcdonald's drive through at a store twice as big as any I've
ever seen in the US, going to a reservoir at 8:30pm in the dark that
we were supposed to go to in the sunlight and Adam taking us to the
"Chew Jetty" in Georgetown, Penang, where apparently the Chew mafia
live and you can only go if you're a Chew. Luckily we had adam with us
as our bodyguard. He says he grew up on the jetty, but then again,
he's Adam...